The past 6 months have given me something to be extremely grateful for, a new life. I have lost a total of 102lbs so far and I feel like an entirely new person. I have more energy and overall I am happier. Looking back at old pictures I feel very ashamed of my weight; how could I have let it get so bad. The cycle just kept going and going and I continued to grow. It's pretty depressing to think about, but that life is behind me.
It's an odd feeling being happy with who you see in the mirror but I look forward to getting used to that feeling. Yesterday was Thanksgiving and I have to say it was one of the best days we have had in the NE in a long time. We were surrounded by friends, children, laughter, conversation, and warm love. I am so thankful that we have made some real friends up here as we miss our TX family and friends like crazy. In a few days Noah, Millie and I will be making our trip home. While I am not looking forward to the drive or being away from Nick for 2 weeks; I am looking forward to seeking Kryssy get married and visiting with family and friends.
I am thankful.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Stress and Saddness
The last few weeks have been... I don't really know how to describe them.
Let me start by saying that my very best and dearest friend lost her Mom. I didn't know JoD all that well but in the short time I had the honor of knowing her she taught me a lot about compassion, love, and strength. JoD lived life with a smile and a kind word for everyone. Though she struggled she lived life to it's fullest. I know she is proud of the family she helped raise. I am glad to know that she is dancing somewhere now, watching over her family with infinite love. Her death broke my heart in so many different ways. I am so far from home and I feel awful not being there for Sara. I know there was little if not nothing I can do to shield her from the pain she is feeling but the fact that I can't be there to try....
I am glad I wrote about that first. It really helped me put the rest in perspective. Nothing I am going through right now can compare. And I should be grateful.
My trip to Texas for the Bachelorette party-
This is a huge source of stress for me. I am not really worried about the actual party, I think I could plan it in my sleep and I have the beautiful Jessi working with me. I am worried about leaving Noah. I have never been so far away from him ever and I have never spent that much time away from him. Nick also has never had him all on his own. Please don't get me wrong; Nick is a great dad, but he doesn't know all of Noah's little idiosyncrasies like I do. I am going to miss my little man so much! I know I am going to have a blast when I get there, it's just getting there.
Being a Landlord- Sucks; especially when your forever away and have to get things done by proxy! and that is about all I am going to say about that. Except THANK YOU JESS AND SARA!
On the positive Nick and I are really enjoying going to our Church. It is a Unitarian Universalism church; which really embraces our liberal beliefs. It's nice and we so far really like it! I am working with the Youth Group and am really excited. I am still doing the Junior League. We are deciding on our provisional project tonight. Looking forward to that, I just hope everyone stays civil. I noticed a few slight tempers and attitudes last week.
Weight loss is going ok. I tend to hit this slumps every now and again. I am staying at my current weight, but I'm sure it will start dropping again soon. It's like the body just needs a day or two to balance out. I have also had the munchies a lot lately; which sucks when your stomach is the size of a golf ball.
Well I better run. Hope life is treating you well!
W
Let me start by saying that my very best and dearest friend lost her Mom. I didn't know JoD all that well but in the short time I had the honor of knowing her she taught me a lot about compassion, love, and strength. JoD lived life with a smile and a kind word for everyone. Though she struggled she lived life to it's fullest. I know she is proud of the family she helped raise. I am glad to know that she is dancing somewhere now, watching over her family with infinite love. Her death broke my heart in so many different ways. I am so far from home and I feel awful not being there for Sara. I know there was little if not nothing I can do to shield her from the pain she is feeling but the fact that I can't be there to try....
I am glad I wrote about that first. It really helped me put the rest in perspective. Nothing I am going through right now can compare. And I should be grateful.
My trip to Texas for the Bachelorette party-
This is a huge source of stress for me. I am not really worried about the actual party, I think I could plan it in my sleep and I have the beautiful Jessi working with me. I am worried about leaving Noah. I have never been so far away from him ever and I have never spent that much time away from him. Nick also has never had him all on his own. Please don't get me wrong; Nick is a great dad, but he doesn't know all of Noah's little idiosyncrasies like I do. I am going to miss my little man so much! I know I am going to have a blast when I get there, it's just getting there.
Being a Landlord- Sucks; especially when your forever away and have to get things done by proxy! and that is about all I am going to say about that. Except THANK YOU JESS AND SARA!
On the positive Nick and I are really enjoying going to our Church. It is a Unitarian Universalism church; which really embraces our liberal beliefs. It's nice and we so far really like it! I am working with the Youth Group and am really excited. I am still doing the Junior League. We are deciding on our provisional project tonight. Looking forward to that, I just hope everyone stays civil. I noticed a few slight tempers and attitudes last week.
Weight loss is going ok. I tend to hit this slumps every now and again. I am staying at my current weight, but I'm sure it will start dropping again soon. It's like the body just needs a day or two to balance out. I have also had the munchies a lot lately; which sucks when your stomach is the size of a golf ball.
Well I better run. Hope life is treating you well!
W
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Great, Good, and Annoying
The great news is that I am down 81lbs as of today! Which means I am right on target for my goal of 100bs by November. It's an amazing feeling to see the change; in my appearance, my attitude, and in my energy.
We all seem to be loosing weight and getting healthier
The good news is that New Haven and the North East in general are starting to grow on me. I love having seasons! The leaves are changing color and the air has that cool crisp feeling. We have been here for a year now and it feels a lot more like home, familiar...
Other good news is Noah is off the pacifier!!! No more Nuk for us! He still asks and we just tell him they were sent to the babies. Now to work on potty training...
And finally the annoying; Some may not find it annoying but I do! I am loosing weight so quickly I can't keep fitting clothes on my body. If we were rich it wouldn't be an issue but we aren't! I cannot afford to keep purchasing clothes. I have tried goodwill but not had any luck. Other annoying things; Noah doesn't want to take naps at all anymore. I thought I would have at least another year before he gave them up. He sleeps in the car when we go out but doesn't want to lay down in bed unless it's bed time (at night). Oh and he hit the "terrible 2's"! It's nothing to terrible but it's annoying.
In other news;
I am a provisional member of the Junior League of Greater New Haven. It seems pretty cool so far; we shall see how I feel about it when we start our project.
Halloween is around the corner and I am planning on making Noah's costume this year; He's going to be Peter Pan(so cute)!
Nick and I want badly to have another baby but we are supposed to wait because of the surgery... I think we just decided to let nature take it's course. I am praying that it will happen soonish, but only time will tell.
Texas should expect me in mid-October! I am coming in for a bachelorette party. It will be the first time I am away from Noah for that long and even scarier it will be the first time Nick will have Noah for more than a few hours by himself. I just have to keep telling myself it will be ok!
The house rented!!! We have tenants moving in next weekend!!! Thanks so much to Sara and Jess for working so hard at getting the house fixed up!
Well that's all for now. Can't wait to come back and tell everyone I am down 100lbs!
Happy Fall!
We all seem to be loosing weight and getting healthier
The good news is that New Haven and the North East in general are starting to grow on me. I love having seasons! The leaves are changing color and the air has that cool crisp feeling. We have been here for a year now and it feels a lot more like home, familiar...
Other good news is Noah is off the pacifier!!! No more Nuk for us! He still asks and we just tell him they were sent to the babies. Now to work on potty training...
And finally the annoying; Some may not find it annoying but I do! I am loosing weight so quickly I can't keep fitting clothes on my body. If we were rich it wouldn't be an issue but we aren't! I cannot afford to keep purchasing clothes. I have tried goodwill but not had any luck. Other annoying things; Noah doesn't want to take naps at all anymore. I thought I would have at least another year before he gave them up. He sleeps in the car when we go out but doesn't want to lay down in bed unless it's bed time (at night). Oh and he hit the "terrible 2's"! It's nothing to terrible but it's annoying.
In other news;
I am a provisional member of the Junior League of Greater New Haven. It seems pretty cool so far; we shall see how I feel about it when we start our project.
Halloween is around the corner and I am planning on making Noah's costume this year; He's going to be Peter Pan(so cute)!
Nick and I want badly to have another baby but we are supposed to wait because of the surgery... I think we just decided to let nature take it's course. I am praying that it will happen soonish, but only time will tell.
Texas should expect me in mid-October! I am coming in for a bachelorette party. It will be the first time I am away from Noah for that long and even scarier it will be the first time Nick will have Noah for more than a few hours by himself. I just have to keep telling myself it will be ok!
The house rented!!! We have tenants moving in next weekend!!! Thanks so much to Sara and Jess for working so hard at getting the house fixed up!
Well that's all for now. Can't wait to come back and tell everyone I am down 100lbs!
Happy Fall!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Feeling Good
It's so odd to feel so happy about my looks and weight. I am no where near what I need to be but the idea that I am down so much is making me feel great. My brand new clothes are starting to get to big and my rings are going to need to be sized down soon. It's a nice and new feeling to be proud of myself.
The trip to Texas went well. I was able to pull off a Bridal Shower and the Reunion. I know the shower went well. Everyone had a great time. I feel awful that I was not able to purchase the couple a gift yet, but throwing the shower cost so much money that I am going to have to purchase a gift for them another time. The Reunion went really well too. People seemed to enjoy themselves and I hope all the praise was truthful :) I hope by raising money I will make it easier for the next reunion. It was great to see family and friends. Noah and I will be heading to Cali this month for a visit as my Dad was not able to make it to Texas. I am looking forward to seeing my sister, brother and nephew but hate flying.
Well I better go, Nick wants to hit the hay and would like for me to join him
Good night all!
Wendy
The trip to Texas went well. I was able to pull off a Bridal Shower and the Reunion. I know the shower went well. Everyone had a great time. I feel awful that I was not able to purchase the couple a gift yet, but throwing the shower cost so much money that I am going to have to purchase a gift for them another time. The Reunion went really well too. People seemed to enjoy themselves and I hope all the praise was truthful :) I hope by raising money I will make it easier for the next reunion. It was great to see family and friends. Noah and I will be heading to Cali this month for a visit as my Dad was not able to make it to Texas. I am looking forward to seeing my sister, brother and nephew but hate flying.
Well I better go, Nick wants to hit the hay and would like for me to join him
Good night all!
Wendy
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
50 lbs
So I reached my first goal. I hoped to be down 50 lbs by the time I left for Texas and I have reached and am surpassing that goal. :)
It feels great. I am down about 6 sizes or so depending on what clothing I am purchasing. My bra size is down; which to a lot of women would seem terrible but for me its great! I would much rather be a 40DD than and 42DDD. Besides they are by no means small and even if they were hey their boobs! :)
The working out is difficult. I think most moms would agree it's hard to squeeze in time especially when it takes time away from your child. I have also been very busy in the mornings which is the only time I am able to go. But I will get back on track. I have to.
In other news I am torn between two things I want. I love being a full time mom, but there is a part of me that feels I should be working. Not because I don't do enough, believe me I work full time. But because we would be in such better financial standing if I could bring in some extra income. I think I may be offered a job today and I think I am going to turn it down. I feel awful about it but I have to do what's right for me. The amount of work for the pay + paying for childcare just doesn't seem worth it. I also really enjoy the freedom of being able to pickup and go at a moments notice. To work or not to work, that is the question.
Well my trip is coming soon and I am beyond happy to go home for a visit. It is going to be busy but such is life!
See you all soon!
W
It feels great. I am down about 6 sizes or so depending on what clothing I am purchasing. My bra size is down; which to a lot of women would seem terrible but for me its great! I would much rather be a 40DD than and 42DDD. Besides they are by no means small and even if they were hey their boobs! :)
The working out is difficult. I think most moms would agree it's hard to squeeze in time especially when it takes time away from your child. I have also been very busy in the mornings which is the only time I am able to go. But I will get back on track. I have to.
In other news I am torn between two things I want. I love being a full time mom, but there is a part of me that feels I should be working. Not because I don't do enough, believe me I work full time. But because we would be in such better financial standing if I could bring in some extra income. I think I may be offered a job today and I think I am going to turn it down. I feel awful about it but I have to do what's right for me. The amount of work for the pay + paying for childcare just doesn't seem worth it. I also really enjoy the freedom of being able to pickup and go at a moments notice. To work or not to work, that is the question.
Well my trip is coming soon and I am beyond happy to go home for a visit. It is going to be busy but such is life!
See you all soon!
W
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Tired
This has been a busy week for me. I am babysitting an 18 month old little boy along with Noah everyday. Noah is handling having another child around ok. He has a difficult time sharing me, but is doing well with the toys. The babysitting would not be so stressful if it were not for the fact that this little boy cries like crazy. The first day he cried for about an hour and a half, today it was just 45 minutes are so. But he is so demanding. He constantly wants to be held or entertained. I am so used to Noah who can entertain himself for the most part and will let me get other things done. So by the time he heads home I am so tired I don't want to do anything. But I am trying really hard to keep up with the house and laundry so I have less to do when we leave for TX.
I am doing well with the weight loss. I am down 47lbs and about 4-6 sizes depending on what I am wearing. It's still a drop in the bucket for me but I am really starting to see a difference in the shape of my body. It's a great feeling. My eating habits really fluctuate. Some weeks I eat every meal and have a snack. Then some weeks are like this one where I might eat some cheese and maybe lunch. I am excited that I will be able to reach my goal of 50lbs down before our trip.
Well I have to get up early again so I'll update more another time.
I am doing well with the weight loss. I am down 47lbs and about 4-6 sizes depending on what I am wearing. It's still a drop in the bucket for me but I am really starting to see a difference in the shape of my body. It's a great feeling. My eating habits really fluctuate. Some weeks I eat every meal and have a snack. Then some weeks are like this one where I might eat some cheese and maybe lunch. I am excited that I will be able to reach my goal of 50lbs down before our trip.
Well I have to get up early again so I'll update more another time.
Friday, June 19, 2009
5 week update
I guess I can't complain. I am back to eating most of the things I love and surprisingly not missing the things I thought I would. I rarely think about sweets anymore. Honestly I crave tortilla chips more than any other food (that bad for me I mean). If that's the worst of it then I will do great.
I am down 38lbs. The weight loss has really slowed down. I really should not complain. I have lost more in 5 weeks than I have ever lost on any diet. I just got so used to seeing 1-3lbs drop between days. Now it's like .5lbs a day or less. It would be going better if I made it to the gym everyday. But I'm not. The only time they have child watch is in the morning and I am having a tough time dragging myself out of bed.
Normally I take medication for anxiety and depression. It's no secret that I have struggled with emotional imbalance my entire life so I am on medication that really helps. Well one of the things you have to do after surgery is chew or crush your medication. I tired. Really I did. Once crushed the medicine would make me gag and I would end up throwing up so I just quit taking it. I know the worst thing I could do... I was feeling fine for a while as it takes some time to wear off but not doing so hot now.
The depression and anxiety I feel is never so much that it consumes me but I very much become a hermit. I don't want to go out and see people. My moods are up and down like crazy and I am fatigued (a very common side effect for me). That fatigue and my desire to hide from the world makes it really hard to get to the gym. What's so sad about all of this is I feel so much better once I go, it's convincing myself of that before hand that is the hard part.
To top it all off I am so freaking stressed about this reunion. I know at the end of the day it's going to be great! It's getting better by the day as people are coming out of the woodwork pleading their cases asking to purchases tickets. Which is very helpful, since we need the money to cover everything. I wish I were driving to TX so I would not have to ship so much stuff but oh well..
I guess I better head to bed.
W
I am down 38lbs. The weight loss has really slowed down. I really should not complain. I have lost more in 5 weeks than I have ever lost on any diet. I just got so used to seeing 1-3lbs drop between days. Now it's like .5lbs a day or less. It would be going better if I made it to the gym everyday. But I'm not. The only time they have child watch is in the morning and I am having a tough time dragging myself out of bed.
Normally I take medication for anxiety and depression. It's no secret that I have struggled with emotional imbalance my entire life so I am on medication that really helps. Well one of the things you have to do after surgery is chew or crush your medication. I tired. Really I did. Once crushed the medicine would make me gag and I would end up throwing up so I just quit taking it. I know the worst thing I could do... I was feeling fine for a while as it takes some time to wear off but not doing so hot now.
The depression and anxiety I feel is never so much that it consumes me but I very much become a hermit. I don't want to go out and see people. My moods are up and down like crazy and I am fatigued (a very common side effect for me). That fatigue and my desire to hide from the world makes it really hard to get to the gym. What's so sad about all of this is I feel so much better once I go, it's convincing myself of that before hand that is the hard part.
To top it all off I am so freaking stressed about this reunion. I know at the end of the day it's going to be great! It's getting better by the day as people are coming out of the woodwork pleading their cases asking to purchases tickets. Which is very helpful, since we need the money to cover everything. I wish I were driving to TX so I would not have to ship so much stuff but oh well..
I guess I better head to bed.
W
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
June 10, 2006
I was married 3 years ago. What's crazy is it seems like so much longer. Nick and I have been together off and on since I was 14 years old. That's half my life. Half of my life I have been with the same person. Maybe that is why it hurt so much when He didn't remember that today was our anniversary.
I waited all morning for him to call me since he did not wake me before he left. No call. I finally called him hoping he would say something. He didn't. So I finally reminded him.
So I think we can all agree he screwed up. Right?! What would you do if you screwed up like that. Would you just say sorry and expect for it all to be ok? I wouldn't. I had to babysit tonight in order to make enough money so we can go out this weekend. I had to leave the house at 4:30. He came home at 4:15, barely said 2 words to me before I left and he was empty handed. No flowers, no card, no nothing. Just more words; "I'm sorry I dropped the ball". I'm so sick of words, if you love me show me.
That's all I want, I want him to show me he loves me. Is that really to much to ask?
I waited all morning for him to call me since he did not wake me before he left. No call. I finally called him hoping he would say something. He didn't. So I finally reminded him.
So I think we can all agree he screwed up. Right?! What would you do if you screwed up like that. Would you just say sorry and expect for it all to be ok? I wouldn't. I had to babysit tonight in order to make enough money so we can go out this weekend. I had to leave the house at 4:30. He came home at 4:15, barely said 2 words to me before I left and he was empty handed. No flowers, no card, no nothing. Just more words; "I'm sorry I dropped the ball". I'm so sick of words, if you love me show me.
That's all I want, I want him to show me he loves me. Is that really to much to ask?
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
3 weeks out
It's been 3 weeks since the surgery. My incisions are almost completely healed and I need to start putting scar cream on them so I don't have nasty scars all over my tummy. :)
I have started eating real foods again. I am allowed eggs, yogurt, fruits, some veggies, and cottage cheese. My energy level is starting to increase and I have made my way back to the YMCA. Of course I find it SOOO hard to get up in the morning for the workout. The Y offers child watch from 9-12 So I have to be out of the house no later than 10am to get a good work out in. I know it sounds late enough but when you go to bed at 1am and your son wakes up at 6am it's hard to find the energy to get everyone dressed fed and out the door.
Now that I am allowed to eat some real food I am finding it easier to make it through the day. I am down 32lbs! It's a nice feeling to be down so much. My goal is to hopefully be down 50lbs by the time I come to TX for the reunion. Even at 50lbs I won't be near the weight I was in HS but I won't be the weight I am now.
The family is doing well. We are putting the house in Cedar Park on the market and praying that it sells by August. Nick and I want to be able to feel at home here and it's hard to do when you have to always ask permission to do something as the home isn't ours. I'm not sure if we will be able to afford to buy up here but we will be in a better position to do that if we could sell our home. As I said earlier we are coming to TX in July. I am throwing my good friend Kryssy a couples wedding shower and I have the reunion that I have been working on forever. I have my fingers crossed that people get off their butts and start purchasing tickets. I honestly have no idea why people say "Oh I can't wait" and then don't buy tickets! I am just praying that enough people purchase tickets that the reunion doesn't turn out to be hokey.
Well that's all for now.
:) W
I have started eating real foods again. I am allowed eggs, yogurt, fruits, some veggies, and cottage cheese. My energy level is starting to increase and I have made my way back to the YMCA. Of course I find it SOOO hard to get up in the morning for the workout. The Y offers child watch from 9-12 So I have to be out of the house no later than 10am to get a good work out in. I know it sounds late enough but when you go to bed at 1am and your son wakes up at 6am it's hard to find the energy to get everyone dressed fed and out the door.
Now that I am allowed to eat some real food I am finding it easier to make it through the day. I am down 32lbs! It's a nice feeling to be down so much. My goal is to hopefully be down 50lbs by the time I come to TX for the reunion. Even at 50lbs I won't be near the weight I was in HS but I won't be the weight I am now.
The family is doing well. We are putting the house in Cedar Park on the market and praying that it sells by August. Nick and I want to be able to feel at home here and it's hard to do when you have to always ask permission to do something as the home isn't ours. I'm not sure if we will be able to afford to buy up here but we will be in a better position to do that if we could sell our home. As I said earlier we are coming to TX in July. I am throwing my good friend Kryssy a couples wedding shower and I have the reunion that I have been working on forever. I have my fingers crossed that people get off their butts and start purchasing tickets. I honestly have no idea why people say "Oh I can't wait" and then don't buy tickets! I am just praying that enough people purchase tickets that the reunion doesn't turn out to be hokey.
Well that's all for now.
:) W
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Pre and Post surgery pictures
Here are a few pictures; Keep in mind it was insanely early when I took these. :)
I know I look so happy but it was 5:50am and I was about to have surgery! :(
My little man came to visit me. It was nice having him come see me. :)
I was very tired. I had a morphine pump that I was pushing about every 6 minutes.
He was so scared when he first arrived that it took about 30 minutes before he would climb in my lap.
That's me and my best friend for the first 24hours. The morphine button not the computer. :)
I will work on posting some updated photos soon. I feel the difference but I think it might be to subtle to see in photos just yet.
:) 26lbs down!
I know I look so happy but it was 5:50am and I was about to have surgery! :(My little man came to visit me. It was nice having him come see me. :)
I was very tired. I had a morphine pump that I was pushing about every 6 minutes.He was so scared when he first arrived that it took about 30 minutes before he would climb in my lap.
That's me and my best friend for the first 24hours. The morphine button not the computer. :)I will work on posting some updated photos soon. I feel the difference but I think it might be to subtle to see in photos just yet.:) 26lbs down!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Funny Stories
Ok so I shared these stories with my mom and even though they are pretty embarrassing I thought they were to funny to pass on telling.
Like I said in the update my stomach and intestine were filled with gas in order to check for leaks. Also like I said the only way to get it out is well passing it.
The other night we were laying on the couch and Nick was rubbing my back as that is where the gas sits and dear lord it hurts. So he was rubbing my back to help me feel better. All of a sudden I felt my stomach and everything moving. I told Nick "move move!" well he didn't. Welcome to marriage; Where you can pass gas on your mans lap and he doesn't care. :)
We went to the grocery store too. It's good for me to walk around as I heal. I was so worried the entire time that something would slip. :)
Well I know it's a bit candid but I thought it was funny. It's been a week and I am down 16lbs.
Talk to you later
W
Like I said in the update my stomach and intestine were filled with gas in order to check for leaks. Also like I said the only way to get it out is well passing it.
The other night we were laying on the couch and Nick was rubbing my back as that is where the gas sits and dear lord it hurts. So he was rubbing my back to help me feel better. All of a sudden I felt my stomach and everything moving. I told Nick "move move!" well he didn't. Welcome to marriage; Where you can pass gas on your mans lap and he doesn't care. :)
We went to the grocery store too. It's good for me to walk around as I heal. I was so worried the entire time that something would slip. :)
Well I know it's a bit candid but I thought it was funny. It's been a week and I am down 16lbs.
Talk to you later
W
Friday, May 15, 2009
Week 1
As I said in my morphine state the surgery went well. It was all very routine and I woke up in recovery feeling as though my guts had been kicked in by a mule. I had a drain tube coming out of the left side of my stomach just below my breast. The tube was connected to a bulb that collects all the leakage from the surgery area. Gross I know. It really sucked having it; made it very difficult to get comfortable. Along with the drain I had a catheter; ugg! Anyone who has ever had one can tell you how much they suck. So needless to say the first 24 hours after the surgery were uncomfortable; in fact they had to increase my morphine pump because it was not controlling the pain. I had tubes everywhere and I wasn't allowed to drink anything until after the swallow test the next day.
Tuesday- I woke up early as a crowd of Doctors came into my room of course this was after nurses came in all night long checking vitals, taking blood, giving me blood thinners, and generally being annoying while I tried desperately to sleep. They checked my incisions and asked how I was feeling. Eventually I dragged Nick out of bed and sent him on some errands. Just in time for the PA to come in and remove my catheter- WOO HOO! I then got to shower off the lower half of my body. As I still had IV's and the drain I couldn't wash my hair or up body.
I was supposed to be taken for my swallow test early but that didn't happen, Nick arrived around 11am and sometime after that they took me for the swallow test. Now this sucked royally! I had to swallow this dye mixture and then barium. Both were disgusting. The dye more so than the barium. But to make maters worse I had to go to the bathroom for the first time since they pulled the catheter. I had to hold it though because they were measuring my output. They finished the test; all looked good; then they had to call transport. Transport takes a while and when she finally arrived, I informed her that I needed to go and bad. Thankfully she kicked into high gear and got me to my room. Now that I got the all clear from the test I was able to have 1ounce of water every hour. That's right folks an entire shot glass! Now I had planned on going home that day but I was still in pain, tired, and hadn't even graduated to ensure yet. So I agreed with the Doctor to stay another night. Nick however had to go get the baby and run errands. While he was gone they came and pulled the drain, removed the iv tubes but left the iv in just in case and I was able to shower!!! Man that felt wonderful!
Around 5pm Nick came back with Noah. It took about 30 minutes before Noah felt comfortable laying in bed with me. I am sure it was an odd sight seeing mommy laying in a strange room looking pitiful with tubes taped to her arms. But eventually he curled up with my in bed. He even turned around and wanted me to cuddle him to sleep. Eventually Nick and Noah had to head home. They needed to eat and Noah needed to go to bed. I went for a walk in the hall before my bedtime.
That night was rough! I ended up with a low grade fever and I was in a lot of pain. It felt like it went on forever. Around 4am I decided to get out of bed and I fell asleep in the chair; sadly it was more comfortable. I woke again around 6am and just got up. I put some normal clothes on and walked the halls. I saw the gaggle of doctors, nurses and my surgeon. Around 10 am I got to "eat" for the first time in 3days. I got 2 ounces of ensure. MMMM... ;) Once that went down smoothly I was able to go home. So I gave it two hours and right around noon I was checking out.
It is great to be home. I am sore and tired still but it's a lot more comfortable. I keep getting low grade fevers but I am not worried. It's pretty normal after a surgery to have low grade; as long as they don't get to high I am not going to worry about infection. The weight is just falling off. I mean how can it not? I am allowed to "eat" 2 ounces of Boost, slim fast, ensure, or carnation instant breakfast 3 times a day. Half the time I can't finish what I am alloted. I have already dropped 7lbs in 4 days. Once I get back to the gym it will start coming off real fast! I am excited but scared. I know what happens to a persons body when they loose weight quickly and saggy skin sometimes seems worse than fat. I know the insurance will cover abdomanol reconstructive surgery; but that is a way scarier surgery than the bypass.
I will start posting some pictures as soon as I find the cable for my camera.
Oh- Huge thank you goes out to my new friend Jessika who kept Noah for us while I was having surgery and overnight so Nick could stay with me.
I know Sara wishes she were here and that means a lot! She is here in her own way. :) I have been getting a lot of support. I am glad people don't look down on me; thinking this is the easy way out. I promise, nothing about what I am going through is easy and I am glad because I think people know that. I have delt with my weight my entire life and it feels good to know that my hormones and genetics won't beat this surgery. It feels good to know that I can look forward to being a size I haven't been since Jr. High. It feels AMAZING to know that I am making my life longer and better. It feels great to know that Noah won't remember a fat mommy. He will remember a healthy mommy. :)
Well I better go. I need to rest while Noah is resting. He takes a lot out of me right now. It's hard to keep up when I am not allowed to lift anything heavier than 10lbs.
I'll update next week!
Tuesday- I woke up early as a crowd of Doctors came into my room of course this was after nurses came in all night long checking vitals, taking blood, giving me blood thinners, and generally being annoying while I tried desperately to sleep. They checked my incisions and asked how I was feeling. Eventually I dragged Nick out of bed and sent him on some errands. Just in time for the PA to come in and remove my catheter- WOO HOO! I then got to shower off the lower half of my body. As I still had IV's and the drain I couldn't wash my hair or up body.
I was supposed to be taken for my swallow test early but that didn't happen, Nick arrived around 11am and sometime after that they took me for the swallow test. Now this sucked royally! I had to swallow this dye mixture and then barium. Both were disgusting. The dye more so than the barium. But to make maters worse I had to go to the bathroom for the first time since they pulled the catheter. I had to hold it though because they were measuring my output. They finished the test; all looked good; then they had to call transport. Transport takes a while and when she finally arrived, I informed her that I needed to go and bad. Thankfully she kicked into high gear and got me to my room. Now that I got the all clear from the test I was able to have 1ounce of water every hour. That's right folks an entire shot glass! Now I had planned on going home that day but I was still in pain, tired, and hadn't even graduated to ensure yet. So I agreed with the Doctor to stay another night. Nick however had to go get the baby and run errands. While he was gone they came and pulled the drain, removed the iv tubes but left the iv in just in case and I was able to shower!!! Man that felt wonderful!
Around 5pm Nick came back with Noah. It took about 30 minutes before Noah felt comfortable laying in bed with me. I am sure it was an odd sight seeing mommy laying in a strange room looking pitiful with tubes taped to her arms. But eventually he curled up with my in bed. He even turned around and wanted me to cuddle him to sleep. Eventually Nick and Noah had to head home. They needed to eat and Noah needed to go to bed. I went for a walk in the hall before my bedtime.
That night was rough! I ended up with a low grade fever and I was in a lot of pain. It felt like it went on forever. Around 4am I decided to get out of bed and I fell asleep in the chair; sadly it was more comfortable. I woke again around 6am and just got up. I put some normal clothes on and walked the halls. I saw the gaggle of doctors, nurses and my surgeon. Around 10 am I got to "eat" for the first time in 3days. I got 2 ounces of ensure. MMMM... ;) Once that went down smoothly I was able to go home. So I gave it two hours and right around noon I was checking out.
It is great to be home. I am sore and tired still but it's a lot more comfortable. I keep getting low grade fevers but I am not worried. It's pretty normal after a surgery to have low grade; as long as they don't get to high I am not going to worry about infection. The weight is just falling off. I mean how can it not? I am allowed to "eat" 2 ounces of Boost, slim fast, ensure, or carnation instant breakfast 3 times a day. Half the time I can't finish what I am alloted. I have already dropped 7lbs in 4 days. Once I get back to the gym it will start coming off real fast! I am excited but scared. I know what happens to a persons body when they loose weight quickly and saggy skin sometimes seems worse than fat. I know the insurance will cover abdomanol reconstructive surgery; but that is a way scarier surgery than the bypass.
I will start posting some pictures as soon as I find the cable for my camera.
Oh- Huge thank you goes out to my new friend Jessika who kept Noah for us while I was having surgery and overnight so Nick could stay with me.
I know Sara wishes she were here and that means a lot! She is here in her own way. :) I have been getting a lot of support. I am glad people don't look down on me; thinking this is the easy way out. I promise, nothing about what I am going through is easy and I am glad because I think people know that. I have delt with my weight my entire life and it feels good to know that my hormones and genetics won't beat this surgery. It feels good to know that I can look forward to being a size I haven't been since Jr. High. It feels AMAZING to know that I am making my life longer and better. It feels great to know that Noah won't remember a fat mommy. He will remember a healthy mommy. :)
Well I better go. I need to rest while Noah is resting. He takes a lot out of me right now. It's hard to keep up when I am not allowed to lift anything heavier than 10lbs.
I'll update next week!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Checking in
So this will be short and sweet as I am on morphine and can hardly keep my eyes open.
The surgery went well. No curve balls or craziness. I am very sore. I will not be allowed to drink anything until tomorrow; which sucks. In the morning they should take the drain out after I have a test making sure there are no leaks in the new stomach.
I guess I better go, I am falling asleep as I type.
I will check in later.
W
The surgery went well. No curve balls or craziness. I am very sore. I will not be allowed to drink anything until tomorrow; which sucks. In the morning they should take the drain out after I have a test making sure there are no leaks in the new stomach.
I guess I better go, I am falling asleep as I type.
I will check in later.
W
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mothers Day and Stuff
Today is Mothers Day and I have to say it's been a really nice day. Some friends of ours were hosting a brunch at their home so we went to that. It's always a lot of fun hanging out with other Moms and having Dads serve you breakfast foods. The kids had a blast running around outside in this BEAUTIFUL weather we are having today.
I hope all the Moms out there are having a great Mothers Day!
Now for the "stuff"- My surgery is tomorrow. God that freaks me out. I have been trying not to think about it, but everyone I see keeps telling me good luck tomorrow and then I can't help but think about it.
On a different note I got my hair cut. I lopped off about 6+ inches. It was getting so long and nasty. It looks really cute now. Don't think it's really short, it still sits at my shoulders. I just had a lot of hair.
Well I better go. I don't want to waist this beautiful day typing.
W
I hope all the Moms out there are having a great Mothers Day!
Now for the "stuff"- My surgery is tomorrow. God that freaks me out. I have been trying not to think about it, but everyone I see keeps telling me good luck tomorrow and then I can't help but think about it.
On a different note I got my hair cut. I lopped off about 6+ inches. It was getting so long and nasty. It looks really cute now. Don't think it's really short, it still sits at my shoulders. I just had a lot of hair.
Well I better go. I don't want to waist this beautiful day typing.
W
Friday, May 8, 2009
The time has almost arrived
It's set. I got the all clear from my Internist on Monday and saw the surgeon on Thursday. He went over the procedure, we discussed my new diet,and the dos and don'ts.
I got the call today that I have to be at the hospital at 6:30am on Monday.
I am scared. I have had surgery before. I was scared then too, but I didn't have a child or husband to think about then. My c-section I didn't have time to think about so I was just excited to see Noah. Now I worry what will happen if something goes wrong. I am sure it will all be fine. Dr. Bell has OUTSTANDING credentials and ranks very high among Gastric Surgeons. I just worry. I'm a Mom I guess that comes with the job.
Part of me wishes we were at home. Nick would have such a stronger support system if we were. But I wouldn't be having this surgery if we were still in Austin. Insurance didn't cover it there, thank goodness for the semi-socialized medicine of Yale(I will talk more about our awesome health benefits later). You know I guess I wish I had the stronger support system too. I am not supposed to lift anything heavier than 10lbs for two weeks. How does someone with a two year old do that? I can't tell you how many times a day I pick Noah up. In fact I just came back from picking him up and rocking him back to sleep. He is active and wants his Mommy to play and isn't going to understand when I have to tell him no.
Sadly though most of my friends don't even know my surgery is coming up. 1800 miles really has a way of slowing communication. Anyway...
I plan on keeping this updated as I loose weight. I need to post pictures too, so I can document the loss. I don't think I will post what my weight is now, but I'll post lbs lost. The Dr. seems to think I can loose as much as 50lbs in the first 2 months if I follow the plan right.
Well here's hoping all goes well.
I love you all!
I got the call today that I have to be at the hospital at 6:30am on Monday.
I am scared. I have had surgery before. I was scared then too, but I didn't have a child or husband to think about then. My c-section I didn't have time to think about so I was just excited to see Noah. Now I worry what will happen if something goes wrong. I am sure it will all be fine. Dr. Bell has OUTSTANDING credentials and ranks very high among Gastric Surgeons. I just worry. I'm a Mom I guess that comes with the job.
Part of me wishes we were at home. Nick would have such a stronger support system if we were. But I wouldn't be having this surgery if we were still in Austin. Insurance didn't cover it there, thank goodness for the semi-socialized medicine of Yale(I will talk more about our awesome health benefits later). You know I guess I wish I had the stronger support system too. I am not supposed to lift anything heavier than 10lbs for two weeks. How does someone with a two year old do that? I can't tell you how many times a day I pick Noah up. In fact I just came back from picking him up and rocking him back to sleep. He is active and wants his Mommy to play and isn't going to understand when I have to tell him no.
Sadly though most of my friends don't even know my surgery is coming up. 1800 miles really has a way of slowing communication. Anyway...
I plan on keeping this updated as I loose weight. I need to post pictures too, so I can document the loss. I don't think I will post what my weight is now, but I'll post lbs lost. The Dr. seems to think I can loose as much as 50lbs in the first 2 months if I follow the plan right.
Well here's hoping all goes well.
I love you all!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Let the count down begin
In just one week I will be having Gastric Bypass Surgery. I got the all clear today from my Internist. My blood sugar was a little elevated but they did not have me fast so it was likely high due to the fruit loops I had for breakfast. No Diabetes. So that's good news. I go see Dr. Bell, my surgeon, on Thursday. He is supposed to go over the details of my surgery and answering any of my questions. Most of my concerns fall into the after the surgery category. I am most curious about how quickly the weight will come off, if I do the plan properly. I have to purchase a bridesmaids dress soon and am going to have to guess the size. Once I finish up with Dr. Bell I go have some blood drawn and meet with the anesthesiologist. This is a first for me. I have never met the anesthesiologist prior to a surgery. Honestly it makes me feel better to meet them. The anesthesia is the most dangerous part of the surgery. I mean Dr. Bell is going in Laparoscopically and the risks are generally the same as having your gallbladder removed. Anesthesia done wrong or if you have an allergy to can be fatal. So it's a nice feeling knowing they are checking my blood and talking with me first.
Due to all the Swine Flu craziness, Noah is going to stay with one of our friends while I have the surgery. I am kind of bummed he won't be there when I go in and come out, but it's better for his safety. But Nick will be there :)
Oh also today we went in for Noah's check up. He was a little below the 5oth % for weight, he was in the 75th % for his height and he was in the 90th % for his head. :) My little brainiac. He has a big head like his daddy. He had three shots and oh my god did I feel awful. Getting shots actually gets worse with age. He has started to pull away more and he screams and gets all sweaty. I was prepared though I not only brough his nuk (pacifier) but I brought a lolli pop. Why Doctors stopped giving those I will never know. It worked like a charm. A few minutes cuddeling and a lolli; you would never have known he was just screaming his head off.
Well I better run. I have to figure out what to make for dinner.
Due to all the Swine Flu craziness, Noah is going to stay with one of our friends while I have the surgery. I am kind of bummed he won't be there when I go in and come out, but it's better for his safety. But Nick will be there :)
Oh also today we went in for Noah's check up. He was a little below the 5oth % for weight, he was in the 75th % for his height and he was in the 90th % for his head. :) My little brainiac. He has a big head like his daddy. He had three shots and oh my god did I feel awful. Getting shots actually gets worse with age. He has started to pull away more and he screams and gets all sweaty. I was prepared though I not only brough his nuk (pacifier) but I brought a lolli pop. Why Doctors stopped giving those I will never know. It worked like a charm. A few minutes cuddeling and a lolli; you would never have known he was just screaming his head off.
Well I better run. I have to figure out what to make for dinner.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Theives are Parasites
One rule of thumb; DON'T STEAL FROM ME!
It pisses me off. Last night some guy named D. W. broke into my car, my husbands car, and My neighbors car. They took off with a laptop, an Ipod and my Garmin GPS. Well if you know me I don't sit on my hands and wait for someone else to take care of business. I called around to pawn shops and found my gps. They shop did not purchase the ipod because it was scratched and they ass wanted to much for the computer.
So Nick is talking with the police now and hopefully they will arrest this ass for possesion of stolen property and selling stolen property.
I am feeling really good about myself right now.
It pisses me off. Last night some guy named D. W. broke into my car, my husbands car, and My neighbors car. They took off with a laptop, an Ipod and my Garmin GPS. Well if you know me I don't sit on my hands and wait for someone else to take care of business. I called around to pawn shops and found my gps. They shop did not purchase the ipod because it was scratched and they ass wanted to much for the computer.
So Nick is talking with the police now and hopefully they will arrest this ass for possesion of stolen property and selling stolen property.
I am feeling really good about myself right now.
Testing
Today I go in for Lab testing and an EKG. I am already so sick of the Doctors office I don't know how much more I can stand. The Labs and EKG are just routine. They want to make sure that I am not a surgery risk. I am worried that my blood sugar is going to come back out of control. I have been experiencing some Diabetic symptoms, but it could be nothing. Even if I do end up being Diabetic it would only be until the surgery. The Bypass is actually supposed to be a cure for type two early onset.
Once that gets done I have to go see my General Doc. She will give me the green light to have surgery. I will also have to have her change all my medicine to liquid, chewable, or crushable. I am not looking forward to swallowing nasty powder for two months.
Gotta run, I have to be awake in a few hours.
Once that gets done I have to go see my General Doc. She will give me the green light to have surgery. I will also have to have her change all my medicine to liquid, chewable, or crushable. I am not looking forward to swallowing nasty powder for two months.
Gotta run, I have to be awake in a few hours.
Monday, April 27, 2009
fear
The day is getting nearer and I am getting more nervous.
I am going to have some lab work and an EKG done on Wednesday. Then I meet with my Doctor the following Tuesday to get the all clear for surgery. After I get the all clear I meet with the surgeon (on Thursday) to discuss the procedure and answer any questions I might have.
I have been stressed and sad. I worry that my friends will react badly to the weight loss. One of the things Dr. Bell said at our group meeting hit close to home. He said a lot of people will fall in to two teams. Team A- The skinny team and they don't want you to join or Team B- The Fat team and they don't want you to leave. Are people really that self centered. I hope that my friends will be happy that I am healthy. My goal is not to be some hot model that leaves everyone behind. I just want to live a long life with my family. My weight is slowly killing me. I am praying that all my friends will be on Team C (a team I am making up) The we love you and are happy for you and you will always be on my team. team.
I worry about being strong enough to handle this huge life change. Will I be successful? I can't fail. What does it mean if I fail. I have failed at so many other weight loss programs. I don't think I could handle failing another program.
Finally I worry about the actual surgery. It's always scary to be put under. This is the first time I will go under as someones mother and wife. I have to wake up. I am scared I won't. Why do we do that to ourselves. I mean ppl do this all the time. There are surgeries everyday and people walk away happy and healthy. Why do I stress my self out so much.
Until next time I suppose.
I am going to have some lab work and an EKG done on Wednesday. Then I meet with my Doctor the following Tuesday to get the all clear for surgery. After I get the all clear I meet with the surgeon (on Thursday) to discuss the procedure and answer any questions I might have.
I have been stressed and sad. I worry that my friends will react badly to the weight loss. One of the things Dr. Bell said at our group meeting hit close to home. He said a lot of people will fall in to two teams. Team A- The skinny team and they don't want you to join or Team B- The Fat team and they don't want you to leave. Are people really that self centered. I hope that my friends will be happy that I am healthy. My goal is not to be some hot model that leaves everyone behind. I just want to live a long life with my family. My weight is slowly killing me. I am praying that all my friends will be on Team C (a team I am making up) The we love you and are happy for you and you will always be on my team. team.
I worry about being strong enough to handle this huge life change. Will I be successful? I can't fail. What does it mean if I fail. I have failed at so many other weight loss programs. I don't think I could handle failing another program.
Finally I worry about the actual surgery. It's always scary to be put under. This is the first time I will go under as someones mother and wife. I have to wake up. I am scared I won't. Why do we do that to ourselves. I mean ppl do this all the time. There are surgeries everyday and people walk away happy and healthy. Why do I stress my self out so much.
Until next time I suppose.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
First times a charm
Tonight I decided to start keeping a blog. I have used the myspace tools before but wanted something more accessible.
My son turned two years old and we had his birthday party today. It was wonderful; and oddly enough I feel guilty that it went so great. I know that sounds odd, but I was without my best friends. A lot of the time I feel as though I am cheating when I have a great time with new friends in CT. Maybe its because I have been friends with everyone since high school.... I don't know.
We had a blast but I do wish Sara, Jess and Jacob were here.
In other news I will be having gastric bypass surgery in 2 weeks. I am beyond nervous. I hate being put "under". I am also nervous about the relationship I will have with food. I enjoy eating. Obviously by my weight. BUT beyond that I love to cook and feel a since of pride when I taste dinner and it's amazing. I have been told that food is no longer something that is amazing but instead something that is required to survive. Yes I understand the need for food to take a smaller role in my life but to take no role at all worries me.
Sadly I am also worried about the reaction people will have to my weight loss. Will they see it as an amazing transformation, the easy way out.... Why should it matter what they think??? Not sure... Well I am crazy tired so i think i am going to head out.
ttys!! Wendy
My son turned two years old and we had his birthday party today. It was wonderful; and oddly enough I feel guilty that it went so great. I know that sounds odd, but I was without my best friends. A lot of the time I feel as though I am cheating when I have a great time with new friends in CT. Maybe its because I have been friends with everyone since high school.... I don't know.
We had a blast but I do wish Sara, Jess and Jacob were here.
In other news I will be having gastric bypass surgery in 2 weeks. I am beyond nervous. I hate being put "under". I am also nervous about the relationship I will have with food. I enjoy eating. Obviously by my weight. BUT beyond that I love to cook and feel a since of pride when I taste dinner and it's amazing. I have been told that food is no longer something that is amazing but instead something that is required to survive. Yes I understand the need for food to take a smaller role in my life but to take no role at all worries me.
Sadly I am also worried about the reaction people will have to my weight loss. Will they see it as an amazing transformation, the easy way out.... Why should it matter what they think??? Not sure... Well I am crazy tired so i think i am going to head out.
ttys!! Wendy
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