Friday, June 19, 2009

5 week update

I guess I can't complain. I am back to eating most of the things I love and surprisingly not missing the things I thought I would. I rarely think about sweets anymore. Honestly I crave tortilla chips more than any other food (that bad for me I mean). If that's the worst of it then I will do great.
I am down 38lbs. The weight loss has really slowed down. I really should not complain. I have lost more in 5 weeks than I have ever lost on any diet. I just got so used to seeing 1-3lbs drop between days. Now it's like .5lbs a day or less. It would be going better if I made it to the gym everyday. But I'm not. The only time they have child watch is in the morning and I am having a tough time dragging myself out of bed.
Normally I take medication for anxiety and depression. It's no secret that I have struggled with emotional imbalance my entire life so I am on medication that really helps. Well one of the things you have to do after surgery is chew or crush your medication. I tired. Really I did. Once crushed the medicine would make me gag and I would end up throwing up so I just quit taking it. I know the worst thing I could do... I was feeling fine for a while as it takes some time to wear off but not doing so hot now.
The depression and anxiety I feel is never so much that it consumes me but I very much become a hermit. I don't want to go out and see people. My moods are up and down like crazy and I am fatigued (a very common side effect for me). That fatigue and my desire to hide from the world makes it really hard to get to the gym. What's so sad about all of this is I feel so much better once I go, it's convincing myself of that before hand that is the hard part.
To top it all off I am so freaking stressed about this reunion. I know at the end of the day it's going to be great! It's getting better by the day as people are coming out of the woodwork pleading their cases asking to purchases tickets. Which is very helpful, since we need the money to cover everything. I wish I were driving to TX so I would not have to ship so much stuff but oh well..
I guess I better head to bed.


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