The day is getting nearer and I am getting more nervous.
I am going to have some lab work and an EKG done on Wednesday. Then I meet with my Doctor the following Tuesday to get the all clear for surgery. After I get the all clear I meet with the surgeon (on Thursday) to discuss the procedure and answer any questions I might have.
I have been stressed and sad. I worry that my friends will react badly to the weight loss. One of the things Dr. Bell said at our group meeting hit close to home. He said a lot of people will fall in to two teams. Team A- The skinny team and they don't want you to join or Team B- The Fat team and they don't want you to leave. Are people really that self centered. I hope that my friends will be happy that I am healthy. My goal is not to be some hot model that leaves everyone behind. I just want to live a long life with my family. My weight is slowly killing me. I am praying that all my friends will be on Team C (a team I am making up) The we love you and are happy for you and you will always be on my team. team.
I worry about being strong enough to handle this huge life change. Will I be successful? I can't fail. What does it mean if I fail. I have failed at so many other weight loss programs. I don't think I could handle failing another program.
Finally I worry about the actual surgery. It's always scary to be put under. This is the first time I will go under as someones mother and wife. I have to wake up. I am scared I won't. Why do we do that to ourselves. I mean ppl do this all the time. There are surgeries everyday and people walk away happy and healthy. Why do I stress my self out so much.
Until next time I suppose.