Tonight I decided to start keeping a blog. I have used the myspace tools before but wanted something more accessible.
My son turned two years old and we had his birthday party today. It was wonderful; and oddly enough I feel guilty that it went so great. I know that sounds odd, but I was without my best friends. A lot of the time I feel as though I am cheating when I have a great time with new friends in CT. Maybe its because I have been friends with everyone since high school.... I don't know.
We had a blast but I do wish Sara, Jess and Jacob were here.
In other news I will be having gastric bypass surgery in 2 weeks. I am beyond nervous. I hate being put "under". I am also nervous about the relationship I will have with food. I enjoy eating. Obviously by my weight. BUT beyond that I love to cook and feel a since of pride when I taste dinner and it's amazing. I have been told that food is no longer something that is amazing but instead something that is required to survive. Yes I understand the need for food to take a smaller role in my life but to take no role at all worries me.
Sadly I am also worried about the reaction people will have to my weight loss. Will they see it as an amazing transformation, the easy way out.... Why should it matter what they think??? Not sure... Well I am crazy tired so i think i am going to head out.