Funny story;
Noah has started to suck/chew on his fingers. Nick and I are always asking him to "take your fingers out of your mouth"
Today I told him again "Noah take your fingers out of your mouth" to which he responded "I have to keep them safe!"
:)
Thursday, July 29, 2010
July 29, 2010
Our trip to Texas is quickly approaching and my impatience is growing. I am so ready to go. I think we all need a change of pace and a break from normal life. Today I actually packed bag number 1. Noah and I are almost completely taken care of, now to get Nick's clothes washed and ready to go. Will Tuesday ever come!!!
:)
We have another Ultrasound today at 2:45. We go in to check on the body parts they were not able to check out last time we visited. Hopefully the little ones cooperate. Then tomorrow we have to head to health plan for our OB appointment. So far I have been on seen a different Doctor every time. This time I am visiting a Dr. that was recommended to me and that I am scheduled to see every visit from here on out. Hopefully we all like her...
Well Noah is driving me nuts and crawling all over me, so I guess that's my cue to get off the computer.
:)
We have another Ultrasound today at 2:45. We go in to check on the body parts they were not able to check out last time we visited. Hopefully the little ones cooperate. Then tomorrow we have to head to health plan for our OB appointment. So far I have been on seen a different Doctor every time. This time I am visiting a Dr. that was recommended to me and that I am scheduled to see every visit from here on out. Hopefully we all like her...
Well Noah is driving me nuts and crawling all over me, so I guess that's my cue to get off the computer.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
July 22, 2010 Take two!
We arrived at Yale Maternal-Fetal Medicine about 15 minutes prior to my appointment and sat impatiently in the waiting room. Apparently they were running behind already so we had to wait until about 9:30ish before we were called back.
I was already anxious and then I realized it was a man doing my ultrasound. Now I am not sure why this bothered me at first as I have had Male ObGyn's before. But for some reason it made me a little uneasy. As he squirted obscene amounts of blue goo on my belly I tried to relax. The lights went dim and off we went.
The ultrasound was to check all the vital organs and body parts so we had to wait awhile before he made his way to the area we really wanted to see. When we finally got there it was pretty obvious what gender the baby was, which should tell you right away Boy. My first reaction was surprisingly calm considering this was the baby I thought was the girl. I new we had one more chance for a girl so I was trying to be patient while he checked every nook and cranny of the baby. It seems like forever passes before we move on to the next baby.
Internally I am thinking alright Baby B lets do this, while another part of me has already given up hope. He is doing all the checking he did with Baby A while periodically checking the nether regions which remains closed for viewing. By the time he is done defiantly Baby B keeps there legs closed. He gives me a towel for my belly and tells me "maybe we can see later" to which I respond "later today??" he doesn't answer and heads out.
Disappointed I call my Mom. "Well Baby A is a boy but we don't know what Baby B is..."
-"Your Kidding right?" "Mom why would I kid about that?" Dr. enters "gotta go mom"
Talk, talk, talk- Alright lets take a look. YES we are going to look again. So he starts checking things out. He isn't as slow as the tech (letting us see everything) so Nick and I are confused about what we are looking at when he says Baby B is a girl.
Nick "What what?" It's a girl Me arms raised in victory "YES!"
Nick "How can you tell, I mean boys are so obvious?" Dr. "Exactly boys have no shame. If it's difficult to determine that usually means it's a girl. We look for what we call a Hamburger" He then shows us said "Hamburger" (ie- the labium, clitoris, labium).
After finding out it was one boy and one girl I felt like I was able to breath and I am sure my blood pressure reduced. I can't begin to express how blessed and excited I am!
Baby Boy Silkey
Baby Girl Silkey
I was already anxious and then I realized it was a man doing my ultrasound. Now I am not sure why this bothered me at first as I have had Male ObGyn's before. But for some reason it made me a little uneasy. As he squirted obscene amounts of blue goo on my belly I tried to relax. The lights went dim and off we went.
The ultrasound was to check all the vital organs and body parts so we had to wait awhile before he made his way to the area we really wanted to see. When we finally got there it was pretty obvious what gender the baby was, which should tell you right away Boy. My first reaction was surprisingly calm considering this was the baby I thought was the girl. I new we had one more chance for a girl so I was trying to be patient while he checked every nook and cranny of the baby. It seems like forever passes before we move on to the next baby.
Internally I am thinking alright Baby B lets do this, while another part of me has already given up hope. He is doing all the checking he did with Baby A while periodically checking the nether regions which remains closed for viewing. By the time he is done defiantly Baby B keeps there legs closed. He gives me a towel for my belly and tells me "maybe we can see later" to which I respond "later today??" he doesn't answer and heads out.
Disappointed I call my Mom. "Well Baby A is a boy but we don't know what Baby B is..."
-"Your Kidding right?" "Mom why would I kid about that?" Dr. enters "gotta go mom"
Talk, talk, talk- Alright lets take a look. YES we are going to look again. So he starts checking things out. He isn't as slow as the tech (letting us see everything) so Nick and I are confused about what we are looking at when he says Baby B is a girl.
Nick "What what?" It's a girl Me arms raised in victory "YES!"
Nick "How can you tell, I mean boys are so obvious?" Dr. "Exactly boys have no shame. If it's difficult to determine that usually means it's a girl. We look for what we call a Hamburger" He then shows us said "Hamburger" (ie- the labium, clitoris, labium).
After finding out it was one boy and one girl I felt like I was able to breath and I am sure my blood pressure reduced. I can't begin to express how blessed and excited I am!
Baby Boy SilkeyBaby Girl Silkey
July 22, 2010
It's "That" morning. The day when we find out if we are having boys, girls, or one of each. I know eventually I will be okay with what ever the results are as long as the babies are healthy, but for the time being I hold out hope that I will get a daughter.
I spoke with my Mom and she told me "You have to be happy no matter what" to which I responded "no, Mom I don't" "I am allowed to mourn the loss"
"But you never had it to loose"
"It's the loss of a potential daughter, I will never have a biological daughter if she isn't in there now"
"You never know" (the eternal optimist)
"Well unless I miraculously get pregnant without trying and that baby happens to be a girl well then yeah I could have a chance..."
It's so frustrating. My friends are able to get it, why I would be disappointed and sad. Of all people, why can't my Mom understand.
Well off we go, out appointment is in 45 minutes.
I spoke with my Mom and she told me "You have to be happy no matter what" to which I responded "no, Mom I don't" "I am allowed to mourn the loss"
"But you never had it to loose"
"It's the loss of a potential daughter, I will never have a biological daughter if she isn't in there now"
"You never know" (the eternal optimist)
"Well unless I miraculously get pregnant without trying and that baby happens to be a girl well then yeah I could have a chance..."
It's so frustrating. My friends are able to get it, why I would be disappointed and sad. Of all people, why can't my Mom understand.
Well off we go, out appointment is in 45 minutes.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
July 20, 2010
I posted this as a discussion on my Mom's group board. So I thought I would post it here too.
I am sure most if not all Moms go through this but I thought I would reach out to the group for support and thoughts...
The further along I get (in my pregnancy) the more guilty I begin to feel. It's like I am taking something away from Noah. I know I am giving him a gift, siblings are great (at times). But it has been just the three of us for 3 years and I don't want him to think he is less important because more children are coming along. Maybe if it weren't two (out numbering him) I would feel differently, but I don't think so. I don't want him to resent the babies for taking the attention away. I also feel sad. It's just us and our bond is so strong. I don't want to loose that or for it to become less because my time for him is going to be limited. I have always known that the older Noah gets the more difficult it was going to be for him when babies came, I guess I just didn't realize how hard it was going to be on me. My older brother was 4 when I was born and he was awful to me until I was in college. It was a big deal me coming and taking his place as the youngest and to top it all off I was a girl. He told my parents to send me back (as story I really think I could have done with out hearing). But I was 2 when my little brother was born and don't recall his being born or being the youngest. I just remember having a best friend growing up. I just worry that Noah is now at the age where he is going to remember the attention and the difference after the babies come. I mean one way to make a kid feel less important is to have all the ppl who once ooed and ahhed over you to all of a sudden oo and ahh over a new baby and poor kid he has to deal with the novelty of twins!
Sorry to vent, but I was just curious if others felt this way and what you did to help/prepare yourself and your child.
Yep those are undies on his head! :)
I am sure most if not all Moms go through this but I thought I would reach out to the group for support and thoughts...
The further along I get (in my pregnancy) the more guilty I begin to feel. It's like I am taking something away from Noah. I know I am giving him a gift, siblings are great (at times). But it has been just the three of us for 3 years and I don't want him to think he is less important because more children are coming along. Maybe if it weren't two (out numbering him) I would feel differently, but I don't think so. I don't want him to resent the babies for taking the attention away. I also feel sad. It's just us and our bond is so strong. I don't want to loose that or for it to become less because my time for him is going to be limited. I have always known that the older Noah gets the more difficult it was going to be for him when babies came, I guess I just didn't realize how hard it was going to be on me. My older brother was 4 when I was born and he was awful to me until I was in college. It was a big deal me coming and taking his place as the youngest and to top it all off I was a girl. He told my parents to send me back (as story I really think I could have done with out hearing). But I was 2 when my little brother was born and don't recall his being born or being the youngest. I just remember having a best friend growing up. I just worry that Noah is now at the age where he is going to remember the attention and the difference after the babies come. I mean one way to make a kid feel less important is to have all the ppl who once ooed and ahhed over you to all of a sudden oo and ahh over a new baby and poor kid he has to deal with the novelty of twins!
Sorry to vent, but I was just curious if others felt this way and what you did to help/prepare yourself and your child.
Yep those are undies on his head! :)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
July 17, 2010
Here I am merely 17 weeks pregnant and I feel like I have already been pregnant forever. Sometimes I wish we didn't find out so darn early. I mean it must have been nice for Women when they would be 3-4 months (ie- where I am now) along before they found out. Maybe it helped time pass quicker.
This part of the pregnancy hasn't been to bad though. The 1st trimester was no fun. Lots of morning sickness and I always felt tired. I now have a lot more energy and only start feeling sick if I go way to long with out eating. Midnight feedings and eating as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning have kind of faded away. Which is nice, since I gained like 5 lbs in those 1st few months. I am learning very quickly though that size is all in my head. My stomach has rounded and started to become firm, but unless I am wearing certain outfits you wouldn't know I was pregnant. Some days I look in the mirror and think... when am I going to look like I have twins in there?? Others I think holy cow I am huge. But usually it's just me.
Thursday we go in for another Ultra Sound. This is the big one... This tells me if I get to have a mother/daughter relationship. I want this SO BAD. I keep getting reassurance that no matter what I will be happy as long as they are healthy and to that I want to say "Eventually and No Shit". BUT it doesn't for one second mean I won't be utterly and completely devastated. I really don't want to be reassured at the moment and after I find out; if there are two little boys in there I honestly want ppl to back away and let me be sad. I will have to mourn the loss of that potential daughter. 3 children will likely be it for us. If we were to try again for a 4th, we would go back on clomid, increasing our chances of twins again. I think Nick would have a heart attack if we ended up with 5 kids. So this is kind of it for us. If I don't have a little girl, I will likely never have a daughter. The thought breaks me. My Mom has been one of the most vocal, "You will be alright" voices. I know that is just her nature, the forever optimist. I just wish she understood that I want a daughter so badly because I value my relationship with her so much. I didn't always think of her the way I do now and lord knows I was a challenge for her during my teen years. If that is what I have to put up with to have the bond that we have, well then so be it.
I'm nervous and excited all in one. I want to know and I don't. I have a strong feeling it's one boy and one girl ( I was right about Noah) but I could be wrong this time. I'm scared of how sad I will feel. If it is two boys I don't want them to ever think I didn't want them. Honestly a house full of boys wouldn't be so awful, but the heart wants what it wants.
Well here's hoping....
This part of the pregnancy hasn't been to bad though. The 1st trimester was no fun. Lots of morning sickness and I always felt tired. I now have a lot more energy and only start feeling sick if I go way to long with out eating. Midnight feedings and eating as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning have kind of faded away. Which is nice, since I gained like 5 lbs in those 1st few months. I am learning very quickly though that size is all in my head. My stomach has rounded and started to become firm, but unless I am wearing certain outfits you wouldn't know I was pregnant. Some days I look in the mirror and think... when am I going to look like I have twins in there?? Others I think holy cow I am huge. But usually it's just me.
Thursday we go in for another Ultra Sound. This is the big one... This tells me if I get to have a mother/daughter relationship. I want this SO BAD. I keep getting reassurance that no matter what I will be happy as long as they are healthy and to that I want to say "Eventually and No Shit". BUT it doesn't for one second mean I won't be utterly and completely devastated. I really don't want to be reassured at the moment and after I find out; if there are two little boys in there I honestly want ppl to back away and let me be sad. I will have to mourn the loss of that potential daughter. 3 children will likely be it for us. If we were to try again for a 4th, we would go back on clomid, increasing our chances of twins again. I think Nick would have a heart attack if we ended up with 5 kids. So this is kind of it for us. If I don't have a little girl, I will likely never have a daughter. The thought breaks me. My Mom has been one of the most vocal, "You will be alright" voices. I know that is just her nature, the forever optimist. I just wish she understood that I want a daughter so badly because I value my relationship with her so much. I didn't always think of her the way I do now and lord knows I was a challenge for her during my teen years. If that is what I have to put up with to have the bond that we have, well then so be it.
I'm nervous and excited all in one. I want to know and I don't. I have a strong feeling it's one boy and one girl ( I was right about Noah) but I could be wrong this time. I'm scared of how sad I will feel. If it is two boys I don't want them to ever think I didn't want them. Honestly a house full of boys wouldn't be so awful, but the heart wants what it wants.
Well here's hoping....
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