Well this morning the Pregnancy test yet again reads negative. I hate how that damn stick holds so many hopes and it so easily dismisses them. I have been in mourning for a few days now. Nick doesn't quite understand because to him, what do I have to mourn. It's not like I was pregnant and lost a baby. In my mind I lost that potential baby, the might have been. That is what I am mourning. The hormones and disappointment have not helped the weightloss either making me feel even worse. So today in my journal this is what I wrote and decided;
I need to get it together! I haven't dropped a lb in a while and it's because I am letting my sadness get the better of me. I will eventually get pregnant but in the mean time I need to stay fit and healthy.
I need to make the following changes;
*Wake early and start the day with Nick and Noah
*Work out a min. of 3x a week
*No Crap Snacking- No matter how sad, depressed, or bored I am
*Increase my water intake. I was doing so good!
*Take time for me. It is not selfish to want personal time.
I need to remember to live/lead by example. Noah needs healthy parents to follow. My goal is to loose another 10lbs by my May check up.
I can do this, I just have to shake off the funk and get it done! I am hoping Positive Thought will have a positive impact on all aspects of my life.