Well this morning the Pregnancy test yet again reads negative. I hate how that damn stick holds so many hopes and it so easily dismisses them. I have been in mourning for a few days now. Nick doesn't quite understand because to him, what do I have to mourn. It's not like I was pregnant and lost a baby. In my mind I lost that potential baby, the might have been. That is what I am mourning. The hormones and disappointment have not helped the weightloss either making me feel even worse. So today in my journal this is what I wrote and decided;
I need to get it together! I haven't dropped a lb in a while and it's because I am letting my sadness get the better of me. I will eventually get pregnant but in the mean time I need to stay fit and healthy.
I need to make the following changes;
*Wake early and start the day with Nick and Noah
*Work out a min. of 3x a week
*No Crap Snacking- No matter how sad, depressed, or bored I am
*Increase my water intake. I was doing so good!
*Stay Positive!
*Journal/Blog daily
*Take time for me. It is not selfish to want personal time.
I need to remember to live/lead by example. Noah needs healthy parents to follow. My goal is to loose another 10lbs by my May check up.
I can do this, I just have to shake off the funk and get it done! I am hoping Positive Thought will have a positive impact on all aspects of my life.
I'm with you in all of it (well I'm not trying to get pregnant, but everything else)... Let's encourage each other! I've been totally stressing and sad lately, and I can feel it in everything that I do and mostly in everything that I don't do. I miss you and I'll call you tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteLove you!