I guess I can't complain. I am back to eating most of the things I love and surprisingly not missing the things I thought I would. I rarely think about sweets anymore. Honestly I crave tortilla chips more than any other food (that bad for me I mean). If that's the worst of it then I will do great.
I am down 38lbs. The weight loss has really slowed down. I really should not complain. I have lost more in 5 weeks than I have ever lost on any diet. I just got so used to seeing 1-3lbs drop between days. Now it's like .5lbs a day or less. It would be going better if I made it to the gym everyday. But I'm not. The only time they have child watch is in the morning and I am having a tough time dragging myself out of bed.
Normally I take medication for anxiety and depression. It's no secret that I have struggled with emotional imbalance my entire life so I am on medication that really helps. Well one of the things you have to do after surgery is chew or crush your medication. I tired. Really I did. Once crushed the medicine would make me gag and I would end up throwing up so I just quit taking it. I know the worst thing I could do... I was feeling fine for a while as it takes some time to wear off but not doing so hot now.
The depression and anxiety I feel is never so much that it consumes me but I very much become a hermit. I don't want to go out and see people. My moods are up and down like crazy and I am fatigued (a very common side effect for me). That fatigue and my desire to hide from the world makes it really hard to get to the gym. What's so sad about all of this is I feel so much better once I go, it's convincing myself of that before hand that is the hard part.
To top it all off I am so freaking stressed about this reunion. I know at the end of the day it's going to be great! It's getting better by the day as people are coming out of the woodwork pleading their cases asking to purchases tickets. Which is very helpful, since we need the money to cover everything. I wish I were driving to TX so I would not have to ship so much stuff but oh well..
I guess I better head to bed.
W
Friday, June 19, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
June 10, 2006
I was married 3 years ago. What's crazy is it seems like so much longer. Nick and I have been together off and on since I was 14 years old. That's half my life. Half of my life I have been with the same person. Maybe that is why it hurt so much when He didn't remember that today was our anniversary.
I waited all morning for him to call me since he did not wake me before he left. No call. I finally called him hoping he would say something. He didn't. So I finally reminded him.
So I think we can all agree he screwed up. Right?! What would you do if you screwed up like that. Would you just say sorry and expect for it all to be ok? I wouldn't. I had to babysit tonight in order to make enough money so we can go out this weekend. I had to leave the house at 4:30. He came home at 4:15, barely said 2 words to me before I left and he was empty handed. No flowers, no card, no nothing. Just more words; "I'm sorry I dropped the ball". I'm so sick of words, if you love me show me.
That's all I want, I want him to show me he loves me. Is that really to much to ask?
I waited all morning for him to call me since he did not wake me before he left. No call. I finally called him hoping he would say something. He didn't. So I finally reminded him.
So I think we can all agree he screwed up. Right?! What would you do if you screwed up like that. Would you just say sorry and expect for it all to be ok? I wouldn't. I had to babysit tonight in order to make enough money so we can go out this weekend. I had to leave the house at 4:30. He came home at 4:15, barely said 2 words to me before I left and he was empty handed. No flowers, no card, no nothing. Just more words; "I'm sorry I dropped the ball". I'm so sick of words, if you love me show me.
That's all I want, I want him to show me he loves me. Is that really to much to ask?
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
3 weeks out
It's been 3 weeks since the surgery. My incisions are almost completely healed and I need to start putting scar cream on them so I don't have nasty scars all over my tummy. :)
I have started eating real foods again. I am allowed eggs, yogurt, fruits, some veggies, and cottage cheese. My energy level is starting to increase and I have made my way back to the YMCA. Of course I find it SOOO hard to get up in the morning for the workout. The Y offers child watch from 9-12 So I have to be out of the house no later than 10am to get a good work out in. I know it sounds late enough but when you go to bed at 1am and your son wakes up at 6am it's hard to find the energy to get everyone dressed fed and out the door.
Now that I am allowed to eat some real food I am finding it easier to make it through the day. I am down 32lbs! It's a nice feeling to be down so much. My goal is to hopefully be down 50lbs by the time I come to TX for the reunion. Even at 50lbs I won't be near the weight I was in HS but I won't be the weight I am now.
The family is doing well. We are putting the house in Cedar Park on the market and praying that it sells by August. Nick and I want to be able to feel at home here and it's hard to do when you have to always ask permission to do something as the home isn't ours. I'm not sure if we will be able to afford to buy up here but we will be in a better position to do that if we could sell our home. As I said earlier we are coming to TX in July. I am throwing my good friend Kryssy a couples wedding shower and I have the reunion that I have been working on forever. I have my fingers crossed that people get off their butts and start purchasing tickets. I honestly have no idea why people say "Oh I can't wait" and then don't buy tickets! I am just praying that enough people purchase tickets that the reunion doesn't turn out to be hokey.
Well that's all for now.
:) W
I have started eating real foods again. I am allowed eggs, yogurt, fruits, some veggies, and cottage cheese. My energy level is starting to increase and I have made my way back to the YMCA. Of course I find it SOOO hard to get up in the morning for the workout. The Y offers child watch from 9-12 So I have to be out of the house no later than 10am to get a good work out in. I know it sounds late enough but when you go to bed at 1am and your son wakes up at 6am it's hard to find the energy to get everyone dressed fed and out the door.
Now that I am allowed to eat some real food I am finding it easier to make it through the day. I am down 32lbs! It's a nice feeling to be down so much. My goal is to hopefully be down 50lbs by the time I come to TX for the reunion. Even at 50lbs I won't be near the weight I was in HS but I won't be the weight I am now.
The family is doing well. We are putting the house in Cedar Park on the market and praying that it sells by August. Nick and I want to be able to feel at home here and it's hard to do when you have to always ask permission to do something as the home isn't ours. I'm not sure if we will be able to afford to buy up here but we will be in a better position to do that if we could sell our home. As I said earlier we are coming to TX in July. I am throwing my good friend Kryssy a couples wedding shower and I have the reunion that I have been working on forever. I have my fingers crossed that people get off their butts and start purchasing tickets. I honestly have no idea why people say "Oh I can't wait" and then don't buy tickets! I am just praying that enough people purchase tickets that the reunion doesn't turn out to be hokey.
Well that's all for now.
:) W
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