The windows are open and it is nice having the fresh air pouring in the apartment. Things get so stale over the winter and you almost forget what if feels like to let the sun warm your skin. I sat outside today watching Noah play with a friend outside for more than an hour and it brought back so many great memories of just being a kids and soaking in the fresh air and sun. Today has been a good day. Noah and I went to the YMCA. I worked out on the treadmill while he played then we swam for about 30 minutes. We drove to East Haven to visit with a friend and pick up our bike. Now I am enjoying the silence and as I said before the fresh air. I tried to find some Spring/Summer clothes to wear today and have had no luck with the fit. I new this would happen of course but it is going to be another financial hit to have to purchase more clothes.
I hope this nice weather keeps. It is so much easier to be positive when the sun is shining.
May the sun shine where ever you are!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
March 18th 2010
I woke up today determined to stick with my plan to stay positive. Today thus far has been a success. I got out of bed as soon as Noah was up, granted he slept till 9am today (YAY) but I was up when he decided to wake.
As if I needed more proof that I am not pregnant I started this morning. But I am trying to stay positive and remember that If I started without medication that means I ovulated last month. So the clomid did work. Once we were dressed and I dealt with getting locked out of the house we were ready to head to the gym. The work out was great. I jogged/walked on the treadmill and then used the weight machines. Following the workout we went to have lunch with Nick at his work. It's always nice going to see him. We always get lots of stares as children and spouses don't often come to visit. Now I am sitting at home while Noah naps, enjoying the beautiful day! I am so happy we can open the windows again!
I am forcing the happy face and forcing the positive attitude, but it does seem to be working so far.
1 day at a time.
As if I needed more proof that I am not pregnant I started this morning. But I am trying to stay positive and remember that If I started without medication that means I ovulated last month. So the clomid did work. Once we were dressed and I dealt with getting locked out of the house we were ready to head to the gym. The work out was great. I jogged/walked on the treadmill and then used the weight machines. Following the workout we went to have lunch with Nick at his work. It's always nice going to see him. We always get lots of stares as children and spouses don't often come to visit. Now I am sitting at home while Noah naps, enjoying the beautiful day! I am so happy we can open the windows again!
I am forcing the happy face and forcing the positive attitude, but it does seem to be working so far.
1 day at a time.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
The Power of Positive Thought
Well this morning the Pregnancy test yet again reads negative. I hate how that damn stick holds so many hopes and it so easily dismisses them. I have been in mourning for a few days now. Nick doesn't quite understand because to him, what do I have to mourn. It's not like I was pregnant and lost a baby. In my mind I lost that potential baby, the might have been. That is what I am mourning. The hormones and disappointment have not helped the weightloss either making me feel even worse. So today in my journal this is what I wrote and decided;
I need to get it together! I haven't dropped a lb in a while and it's because I am letting my sadness get the better of me. I will eventually get pregnant but in the mean time I need to stay fit and healthy.
I need to make the following changes;
*Wake early and start the day with Nick and Noah
*Work out a min. of 3x a week
*No Crap Snacking- No matter how sad, depressed, or bored I am
*Increase my water intake. I was doing so good!
*Stay Positive!
*Journal/Blog daily
*Take time for me. It is not selfish to want personal time.
I need to remember to live/lead by example. Noah needs healthy parents to follow. My goal is to loose another 10lbs by my May check up.
I can do this, I just have to shake off the funk and get it done! I am hoping Positive Thought will have a positive impact on all aspects of my life.
I need to get it together! I haven't dropped a lb in a while and it's because I am letting my sadness get the better of me. I will eventually get pregnant but in the mean time I need to stay fit and healthy.
I need to make the following changes;
*Wake early and start the day with Nick and Noah
*Work out a min. of 3x a week
*No Crap Snacking- No matter how sad, depressed, or bored I am
*Increase my water intake. I was doing so good!
*Stay Positive!
*Journal/Blog daily
*Take time for me. It is not selfish to want personal time.
I need to remember to live/lead by example. Noah needs healthy parents to follow. My goal is to loose another 10lbs by my May check up.
I can do this, I just have to shake off the funk and get it done! I am hoping Positive Thought will have a positive impact on all aspects of my life.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
When it rains it pours
And I am not just talking about the awful weather we have been having lately.
So I have been taking medication to help with all my fertility issues. The Provera did its job and I started then I took the clomid. It seems as though the clomid did it's job, but I may have taken the ovulation test to early...On top of all that we found out that both Nick and I have fertility issues. I won't go into what is going on with him, but if this round doesn't work we will be going in for Insemination. I feel sad and this darn rain isn't helping.
In addition to all of this my Dad is having surgery today and so I am worried... ug what a day.
So I have been taking medication to help with all my fertility issues. The Provera did its job and I started then I took the clomid. It seems as though the clomid did it's job, but I may have taken the ovulation test to early...On top of all that we found out that both Nick and I have fertility issues. I won't go into what is going on with him, but if this round doesn't work we will be going in for Insemination. I feel sad and this darn rain isn't helping.
In addition to all of this my Dad is having surgery today and so I am worried... ug what a day.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Save Your Judgment
Today a man flew a small plane into a building containing IRS offices. At the moment there is no official word on fatalities; they are saying 2 ppl were injured and 1 person is missing. He left a long letter trying to explain his actions. Of course people are responding in so many ways, calling him crazy or a nut job. I say save your judgment. I DO NOT agree with his actions, but they were the actions of a broken depressed person. He was lost and financially devastated. There are thousands if not millions more people out there that face the same issues. I don't agree with his actions but I am in no place to judge him or call him names. I think the important thing to do is to pray for those affected by his actions and to keep moving forward. Name calling doesn't do anyone any good.
I'm thinking of you Austin.
I'm thinking of you Austin.
So it begins
Let the baby making begin! For the last 12 days I was taking something called Provera, this was used to start the menstrual cycle. I usually only have a period every three months or less so that doesn't help when trying to make a baby. Once I finally started I had to wait until day three to start the Clomid, which I did today.
I had some pretty noticeable side effects on the Provera. My moods were all over the place and I hate feeling that way. Most people I have talked to or read about didn't have a reaction to the Provera but they did to the Clomid. Needless to say I am worried that the Clomid is going to cause even crazier mood swings if I was affected by the Provera. I hate feeling out of control. I can catch myself at times in the moment of craziness, but usually it's after the fact when I start thinking about what got me so angry or sad. Nick and I both hope that we conceive baby #2 this go round so I don't have to go through the meds again.
The excitement that I feel right now is so crazy and yet it is kind of muted. I am afraid to get my hopes up. There are so many hurdles. First I have to ovulate, then if I do ovulate I have to time everything just right and still there is only a 20-30% chance on getting pregnant. And that percentage isn't just for me that is the chance every women has every time they ovulate and try to get pregnant. 20-30% ... No wonder they refer to every baby as a miracle ;) We just want another child so badly...
Last night we had the opportunity to see what it would be like to have 3 children, 3yrs and under. It was interesting. We babysat for a friend of mine and her daughter, who is 6 months old (?) is teething. So she was not in the greatest of moods. I ended up holding her in a sling the entire time they were here. The little boy is 3, his bday is also in April so exactly a year older than Noah. He did great, played games, watched videos, and ate all his dinner. I wish I could say the same for Noah. Even though he didn't want my attention or Nicks for that matter (he wanted to play with his friend) he didn't seem to like the fact that a lot if not all of my attention was focused on the teething baby. We finally had to take him to his room and let him have some alone time. It was a challenge but we did it. Of course if we do have 3 children they will not all be under three, unless of course by some twist of fate we have twins. That would be neat, weird, scary...
Well I better run, Noah James says "I wanna play games!" which means I see mommy with her computer and I want to play with it.
:) W
I had some pretty noticeable side effects on the Provera. My moods were all over the place and I hate feeling that way. Most people I have talked to or read about didn't have a reaction to the Provera but they did to the Clomid. Needless to say I am worried that the Clomid is going to cause even crazier mood swings if I was affected by the Provera. I hate feeling out of control. I can catch myself at times in the moment of craziness, but usually it's after the fact when I start thinking about what got me so angry or sad. Nick and I both hope that we conceive baby #2 this go round so I don't have to go through the meds again.
The excitement that I feel right now is so crazy and yet it is kind of muted. I am afraid to get my hopes up. There are so many hurdles. First I have to ovulate, then if I do ovulate I have to time everything just right and still there is only a 20-30% chance on getting pregnant. And that percentage isn't just for me that is the chance every women has every time they ovulate and try to get pregnant. 20-30% ... No wonder they refer to every baby as a miracle ;) We just want another child so badly...
Last night we had the opportunity to see what it would be like to have 3 children, 3yrs and under. It was interesting. We babysat for a friend of mine and her daughter, who is 6 months old (?) is teething. So she was not in the greatest of moods. I ended up holding her in a sling the entire time they were here. The little boy is 3, his bday is also in April so exactly a year older than Noah. He did great, played games, watched videos, and ate all his dinner. I wish I could say the same for Noah. Even though he didn't want my attention or Nicks for that matter (he wanted to play with his friend) he didn't seem to like the fact that a lot if not all of my attention was focused on the teething baby. We finally had to take him to his room and let him have some alone time. It was a challenge but we did it. Of course if we do have 3 children they will not all be under three, unless of course by some twist of fate we have twins. That would be neat, weird, scary...
Well I better run, Noah James says "I wanna play games!" which means I see mommy with her computer and I want to play with it.
:) W
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
It's been a while since I updated so I thought it was about time. The holidays were exhausting! Noah, Millie and I drove to TX at the beginning of December because I was in a wedding. The wedding was beautiful and went off with out any major issues. It was nice having time to spend with friends prior to the xmas excitement. I got to go out with everyone on several occasions and spent way to much money. At the end of the month we all drove home and were soooooooooo ready!
During all the craziness of the holiday Nick's Uncle Brian was getting worse and worse. His liver just couldn't do what it needed to anymore and he gave us a few scares. Luckily he had a transplant today! There is a part of me who feels sad for the person who died but I can't help but feel overjoyed that Brian is getting a chance at life! Now for the recovery.
My weight loss has slowed down but I am not giving up hope that I will reach my goal my the 1 year anniversary. I am trying to get back into the swing of things and getting my rear to the gym on a regular basis. I am at 111 lbs lost so far and look forward to the day when I say I met my goal!
The doc (surgeon) gave us the ok to start trying for baby #2! Unfortunately the weight loss did not increase my fertility. I am not ovulating. So step one is to take Clomid and hope that it works and gets me ovulating, then its up to Nick and I to do the rest. ;) I want a little one so bad. Please oh please work!
I am starting to think more and more seriously about opening a business. I think I would be great at running my own business. The idea I am tossing around is to open a mom friendly cafe. Something that is set up so that kids can play and moms can relax. There is a building down the road for sale that would be perfect and it's a great location. I just have to figure out how to write a business plan and get the capital to start. Oh the possibilities.
Well I better run it's late and I need sleep!
W
During all the craziness of the holiday Nick's Uncle Brian was getting worse and worse. His liver just couldn't do what it needed to anymore and he gave us a few scares. Luckily he had a transplant today! There is a part of me who feels sad for the person who died but I can't help but feel overjoyed that Brian is getting a chance at life! Now for the recovery.
My weight loss has slowed down but I am not giving up hope that I will reach my goal my the 1 year anniversary. I am trying to get back into the swing of things and getting my rear to the gym on a regular basis. I am at 111 lbs lost so far and look forward to the day when I say I met my goal!
The doc (surgeon) gave us the ok to start trying for baby #2! Unfortunately the weight loss did not increase my fertility. I am not ovulating. So step one is to take Clomid and hope that it works and gets me ovulating, then its up to Nick and I to do the rest. ;) I want a little one so bad. Please oh please work!
I am starting to think more and more seriously about opening a business. I think I would be great at running my own business. The idea I am tossing around is to open a mom friendly cafe. Something that is set up so that kids can play and moms can relax. There is a building down the road for sale that would be perfect and it's a great location. I just have to figure out how to write a business plan and get the capital to start. Oh the possibilities.
Well I better run it's late and I need sleep!
W
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